So, as I live with 3 other women and only 1 guy there is a LOT of girl talk taking place in the living room on any given night.Throw in some wine and a few more women (in the form of some of my other friends) and well, you got a whole lot of estrogen. You also have a lot of different experiences and view points to draw from.
The rating system, for example. What constitutes a 7? What makes him a 10? We all have our subjective scales and what’s a deal-breaker and what’s not. However, the universal conclusion that came out of this conversation is that you fuck a 10 (one-night stand…maybe 2 if he wants to go to Pound Town a second night) but you date and marry a 7.
I was floored. They couldn’t have POSSIBLY been right. What crack were they smoking? I wanted to date and marry a 10. I didn’t see the problem with this. Was I shooting too high? Did I have my date/fuck/marry math all wrong in my head? IS THIS WHY I CAN’T GET A DATE?!
Maybe it is. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I’m shallow. I like to look at (and fuck) what I perceive to be a 10. There have been lots of them. 10′s in the face/body area but always treat me like crap. Apparently I think that’s ok as long as they take me to bed (fuck me well) and I wake up with their hand around my waist…or resting on my ass…or they wake me up with a hand running up my leg. Or….
OK, I’m stopping with the soft-core porn.
But I digress. Their reasoning is that a 7 will treat you like you want to be treated and a 10 might not be so inclined to. Being thoughtful, caring, loving, faithful, and just plain good for you will more than make up for the fact that they’re a 7.
I don’t know if I totally believe all this. I mean, maybe it’s worth a try. Maybe I need to settle for a 7 to be treated well and increase my dating prospects. Maybe I need to stop holding out for the few and far between 10′s I seem to happen across. I don’t know at this point, really.
Can’t we just all go back to undergrad and go get drunk and screw and not worry about “dating” or “getting married”? Ah, for the more innocent days of academia.
What do you guys think? 10? 7? And what about from a guy’s perspective, honestly?
I think that a 7 that treats you well and which you eventually marry becomes a 10.
I’ve had that happen…they eventually become more attractive in your eyes.
Haha. I love your tags. Yeah, but I dunno; one woman’s 7 is another woman’s 10…or something.
It’s all subjective really.
If a guy treats you like shit, he’s not a 10. That’s probably an annoyingly predictable response from a guy. But consider that somewhere out there, there probably are “10s” in the face/body department who won’t do that. Do they deserve the same rating as the ones who do?
I think a good way to look at it might be to make sure you aren’t fooling yourself / are setting expectations properly. Up to you if you want to sleep with a guy who looks purdy but is kind of a douche – you’ve got my blessing and some reserved encouragement – but don’t expect him to be different afterwards. Guys who are dicks tend* to make it obvious if you’re actually looking.
* – with exceptions, of course..
And hey, plenty of guys want to go back to the days of undergrad, but the women who claim that’s not acceptable in the late 20′s, 30′s, etc. are much louder than the ones who claim otherwise..
Like I said, it’s all subjective. There are SO many factors. I tend to find the douchey 10′s. It sucks.
most guys will say yes, they’ve screwed a ten. when in actuality tens do not exist. they are perfect people (for each individual)
ten encompasses everything
usually, and my friends will agree, a 7 is a manageable number. cute/hot, converstation, brain…etc etc etc
8 is like holy shit
9, we dont believe you, but ok
10, not possible.
unless you’re in a cult and forced into it and youre stuck
because youre disillusioned and believe it/they exist.
but guys will also take a 4 or 5, because each trait balances/makes up for others
most guys, are good with a 7 or 8, and call it done, happy
nines… very rare, trying to find 9′s becomes the “grass is always greener” and you’ll drive yourself batshit crazy as well as everyone involved
Seems like the tipping point for a keeper is 7 for a guy too. Also…that maybe I’m a bit delusional in my hunt for a 10.
I, too, feel like you do. I want to marry a 10. But I think my definition of a 10 involves waaaay more than looks. It involves personality as well….and that certain something that grabs you….. If all 3 aren’t there….not a 10. At this point, I could settle for a 7 and be happy. Right now I am just bored.
I agree, a 10 is so much more than looks. But like I said, I’m shallow, that’s the first thing I zero in on. Sometimes too much that I don’t give a guy a fighting chance. I think I’ve talked to plenty of average guys and their stock definitely goes up if we hit it off during the opening conversation. If they’re pretty and have nothing to say, that’s the worst!
gotta remember. 10=no compromises are made. she brings you beer and blowjobs in the same trip to the couch. she’s fixes YOUR flat tires. She’s hotter than (insert SI model name), and she’s intelligent enough to handles sports, politics, art, movies, and cooks like Emeril F’n Lagasse. 10′s don’t exist. They are the lamborghini model Unicorn. They are a perfect harmony, that, probably could get boring to deal with. Just my $0.02.
Perfection, boring? I don’t know about that. But I totally get what you’re saying. And from that description, I think I’d totally want that woman as well.
My friend Sal and I had this exact conversation (who’s a 10 for you?, what would you rate Ryan Gosling?, etc.) with physical appearance and attraction / chemistry being the basis for our numbers (not personality so much, but the chances of you having chemistry with someone who is rude or ignorant are pretty low).
We came to the conclusion that, in our experience, the chance of a guy being a jerk is directly related to his number on the physical appearance scale. ie. If a guy is a 10, he can afford to blow you off, have a few girls on the go at the same time and continue merrily on his way like the player that he is. The reason he can do this is because every girl from 1 – 10 wants to date him, so he has full pick of the dating pool. If a guy is say, a 7, then chances are he’ll work a bit harder because he has a reduced dating pool, knowing that he probably doesn’t have a shot with the 8 – 10 girls.
I’m sure there are exceptions to the rules at both ends of the scale but those are our thoughts on the numbers game!
Kate x
That’s what I was thinking too, the 7 will work harder.
Are you using the numbers for just looks, or the whole package? I’m my experience, there’s no such thing as a 10 all across the board.
For example, I’m looking for a soul mate, not a super model. But don’t get me wrong, there has to be some physical attraction. That’s why 7′s are marriage material. Because 7′s in looks are usually 10′s in other areas of their life.
Well, let’s be honest, a lot of the first impression is based on looks. But you have to have the smarts and personality to back it up or else it isn’t going anywhere.
But isn’t a lot of your post about how these guys *don’t* have the personality to back it up, but it still goes somewhere?
I think we’ve established that my picker is desperately broken. But I’m working on it!
As the crazy roommate who suggested this – the original claim is that the numbers are simply referencing looks. No one should settle for less than a 10 in personality, spoiling, and comedic relief. But giving the cute 7 at the bar an easier shot….i.e. not killing him with sarcasm… well that was all I was saying. Once again 10′s are for one night stands – or if they live out of town – quarterly visits
Indeed. Everyone likes a quarterly visit. In fact, I’m due for one…like yesterday.
But yes, now that I’m reading this now, I can totally understand!
We should really feel sorry for the 10′s. They’re an interesting species. Do 10′s date below themselves? Do they only date 10s? I personally have never even attempted to ask out a 10. They’re out of my league. If people thought like me, then who DOES ask out 10s?
Excellent question. Not being a 10, I have no idea.
telling you, ten’s don’t exist. 9′s, sure. tens you just screw and throw away because they’re not good for anything except playing the part of a human jungle gym, and even then they’re usually awful.
But why are they so awful? I mean, do they think they don’t have to try? Everyone has to try. You can’t possibly be good by just lying there.